Episode 15-Independence Starts When Parents Shift From Control To Connection with Patty Laushman

Watching your child struggle while their peers “launch” can mess with your head and your heart. If you’ve ever caught yourself thinking, What’s wrong with my kid? or What did I do wrong?, this conversation offers a different starting point: nothing is wrong, and there is a better way forward than endless pushing and painful pushback.

We sit down with Patty Laushman, founder of Thrive Autism Coaching and author of Parenting for Independence. Patty explains why she built a parenting framework specifically for families of autistic emerging adults and other neurodivergent young people who feel stuck, isolated, or disconnected from school, work, and daily life. We get into the lonely reality of comparing milestones, why even well-meant “professional advice” can backfire, and how parents can replace guessing with a clearer understanding of their child’s individual autism profile.

From there, we talk about what actually changes outcomes: learning your child’s perspective, building trust through feeling understood, and strengthening self-worth as a foundation for real independence skills. We also address the hard stuff, including strained relationships and estrangement, and how to begin repair with honesty, respect, and a willingness to listen without criticism. If guilt has been weighing you down, Patty offers a grounded reminder: you can’t control your child’s journey, but you can influence what happens next, and a sincere apology can be a powerful reset.

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